Today will be a very hard day.

Yesterday was rough. I did pretty well on the fitness scale, overall though.
Tuesday
Breakfast: Kellogg's Protein Water (30 cals) 8:30am.
Snack: 11:15 (making up for lack of breakfast) packaged chicken salad (140 cals, 70 from fat, 8g protein), Tomato soup at hand from Campbell's (120 calories, no fat).
Lunch:2/3 sandwich on whole wheat flax bread, with turkey and 2 tablespoons fat free cream cheese with mustard. (Utterly AWFUL, couldn't finish it as shown, it was bland and dry and ugh. Maybe that's the secret to weight loss, just give yourself food so bland and dull, it's not WORTH it to eat it. I know this is how the Nutrisystem fad diet works, for SURE, I've tried it. It was horrid.)
Snack: 4:20pm string cheese.
Dinner: 2/3 cup healthy turkey chili (I should post the recipe sometime, as I eat it all the damn time), 1/8 cup shredded reduced fat Sargento cheese, 2 tablespoons fat free sour cream; more than 2 cups sake.
Snack: Substituted sake.

Yes, I know, alcohol in no way helps anything to do with weightloss, but hear me out, while I don't feel I'm missing ANYTHING by avoiding it, things are seriously emotionally rocky and stressful right now, and staring blindly at the tv whilst drinking sake is somehow comforting and mind-numbing, all at the same time.
Oh, to make this all look better, let me brag about my exercise yesterday.
There's a lake nearby my office, around which the runners in the office often circle and exercise when the weather is good. I googled the streets surrounding said lake, which estimated the distance at ABOUT 1.5 miles. I though, sure, that's a good distance to begin running outside again.
30-40 (hard to estimate as I didn't have a watch or anything) minutes later, I was thinking I am the WORST runner in history, because it took me that long to run that distance outside. When back in office, I talked to the runners, and they told me no no no, the path along the lake itself is more like 3.2-3.4 miles! Hurray and Hurrah, I am not a failure of an outdoor runner.
This morning, however, while my thighs feel strong, they are also a bit sore.
Also did about 1/2 hour of bareback riding last night in the arena, so that could be part of it.

In prep for today, though, an emotional heads-up. I will be very busy.
11am performance review at work, by a woman I'm pretty sure hates me, and I've got some serious work insecurity issues given our economy and my recent experiences being laid off the past year.
12:10 eye appointment, not emotional, but hectic nonetheless.
1pm My beloved family dog is set to be put down. He's old, his body is failing, it is past due time for him to be released and let to join his brother waiting for him on the "other side" of whatever separates us from the unknown, but it is VERY hard to lose this last piece of what my brother rightly called "The Lhasa Era" for our family. Animal passing is probably harder emotionally for me personally than human passing, at this point in my life, so this is REALLY going to be hard.
2-3pm I need to be home to take care of my boyfriend, who will be getting out of surgery for a ganglian (sp?) cyst on his hand.

There's just a lot going on. I'm already craving sushi, but I know that's an emotional response rather than a need-hunger based one. We'll see how it goes today. Some encouragement on my fitness goals, however, came this morning.

As is my ritual, I took my shower, thoroughly towel-dried my hair, used the restroom, and stood on the scale. I'm a solid 5lbs under my estimated starting weight (or rather, what my weight showed the last time I did this ritual, just over a week ago when I began the journey). Progress!
If I were doing this soley by weigh-ins, I would now have 10 pounds to lose to get to where I am physically comfortable, 15 to lose before I'm at my college weight (!!) and 20 to lose if I'm REALLY striving to get the leanest I have been since high school or before. As I have not yet started actual weight training, and my strenght training has been working with my horse, or in my cardio workouts, I'll have to see when I plateau to try to continue the downwards weight trend.